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August 19, 2008

Going against the Grain

Have you ever had one of those surreal moments where you just realize something is wrong? Like you are going about your normal routine, getting your happy butt to work... and you head towards the metro station you always go to, on the path you always walk... and then you realize you are trying to walk down an escalator that is moving upwards? And as you try to get down to the train... the train you get to every morning, you realize, you are just going against the grain trying to get down an escalator that is moving in the opposite direction?!? Then you think... this is weird. The escalator should be going down... you glance around to see "am i seeing things?" "is this right?" You double check and sure enough, this is the escalator you ALWAYS go down... yet for some reason you are trying to get down but getting nowhere? Then of course you wake up to realize it was a dream... and really, you weren't stupidly trying to go down an escalator that was obviously moving up...

OK well maybe I am the only one who has one of those moments on an escalator (and no it was not a dream - they switched the directions of the escalators - WTF? Who does that? People were ALL confused) but, I'm sure you've had one of those moments in a different scenario... and one of those moments for me, is definitely with wedding planning.

Often I feel like
I'm walking left when the industry is trying to steer me right. There are many things I do not want to do when it comes to my wedding, and there are many things that I do want... However, the wedding industry is set up a certain way to help market and promote certain things... and although the encourage individualizing your weddings to reflect the personality of you and your beloved - they do not encourage taking shortcuts... when the wedding industry discusses weddings on a budget, they mean a 25k-50k wedding. And TO ME, well that's not really a budget...that's a dream wedding...

My wonderful neighbor M (
WNM) let me borrow a book... and if you've read it, you may relate to it...
A More Perfect Union: How I Survived the Happiest Day of My Life By Hana Schank. What an awesomely funny and very honest book. The author journals her own journey in wedding planning and her wedding. It's delightful because I can relate. WNM said..."its good...but it may hit close to home" and she was right. The book was great. I had to let another friend borrow it. And its true. The wedding industry is an "industry" and you can want what you want and get what you want, but we can't guarantee at what price. If you want a outside caterer like I do, well then your options become limited unless you want to "buy out" the catering option - in some instances 2k and others well over 10k. If you don't want typical BM dresses, well good luck. B/c in most cases, it just turns out easier to do BM dresses from wedding stores - especially for larger parties spread out all over the country. And so on and so forth...any other topic, you name it.. .it has a premium. The industry is a well oiled machine that little ol' me is not going to be able to break... but i tell you, just like i tried for a good 2-3 minutes to get down those damn escalator stairs (to no avail - but A+ for effort), I will do my best to get what I want without getting sucked into being just another notch on the bedpost of the wedding industry...

*Recap, I've lost the registry battle - the scanner gun was just too tempting. So far WI 1 - BTB 0*

1 comment:

  1. :-)/ well oiled wedding industry. I'm sure they make you think you need to include certain things. You can always ask your close friends for cash. I personally wouldn't mind giving cash at all. Former bride friend once commented that sometimes brides prefer cash (they don't need more stuff in their homes) but put up registries anyway for things they most likely would return for cash, and she was saying it was a waste of gift giver's shipping costs, waste of recipient time and hassle returning the stuff, etc. So this same friend just asked her close friends for cash or items from Home Depot (she had recently bought a house).


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