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February 05, 2009

In Memory Of...

I was hoping to incorporate some ways to honor some loved ones who have already departed this world... but i want to do it in a way that doesn't bring up too painful of memories, yet can still have a sentimental intimate feel of remembrance.

So what's the best way to do this...

1. Write a little blurb in our programs: via Ritzy Bee
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"We dedicate the flowers with us at the alter in
loving memory of....who are not here to celebrate our
special day with us"

"We dedicate our ceremony music (or a specific song)
in memory of...."

2. Memorial Candles: via With this Ring
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3. Memory Table


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4. Bouquet Charm

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5. Reserve a chair for them like this

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6. Having a moment of silence ...

Have any of y'all done this? And if so, How did you honor someone who was no longer with us? Was it more emotional than you expected? What do you suggest as a good way to be happy with memories, but not too sad for the absence on that particular day?

17 comments:

  1. Bryan and I lit a candle that was in a beautiful glass hurricane lamp to honor his dad. We now have it on our coffee table and affectionately say, "time to light dad".

    I also love the idea of the memory table!!

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  2. This is a very poignant and informative post.

    Thanx

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  3. Wow this is some great info!

    I will be incorporating the memory candle table fro Bride Sophisticate for my dad. I will also be having a small poem in my program dedicated to him.

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  4. I love the memory candles... but I also really like the charm for the bouquet. Most of the weddings that I've been to I've seen little blurbs in their programs which is really thoughtful as well.

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  5. I like the memory table and the candles. I don't like the empty chair b/c I don't think (at least where my family is concerned) everybody would a)respect why it's empty and somebody would inevitably sit there and b)it would probably need to be explained more than once why the chair is empty. I also like the memory charm on the bouquet, and I like when grooms keep a picture in their jacket pocket of who they are remembering that day. We had a ceremony in a church and there was a portion of that where the priest was able to mention my grandfather and uncle, and that was nice. My cousin (the son of the uncle who was mentioned at my wedding) just got married. My aunt (uncle's sister) wrote and read a poem to my cousin and his bride at the reception that read like my uncle wrote it for his son. So emotional-I'm tearing up just writing about it here-LOL. It was appropriate for our family, but I think it's important to make the remembrance match the family who is remembering. Mine is loud and out there-LOL. For a quiet reserved bunch like my in-laws, a quiet and reserved recognition would probably be more appropriate. I'm going to cry no matter what you do so I'll be wearing waterproof mascara.

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  6. I don't know what to do. I'd love to. In the past decade, my cousin passed away (a disease called cystic fibrosis), my grandmother died unexpectedly (at 79), my aunt died of cancer (at 50), my cousin's toddler died (different cousin); and Wade's very beloved grandmother died (also unexpectedly). I wouldn't know where to start. Empty chairs would be too much.

    I'm thinking of wedding photos of those of all our loved ones who are married - my parents, his parents, both our grandparents, etc. And I have a very different way for my cousin.

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  7. i'm personally doing the bouquet, and a mention in the ceremony program, as well as a personal toast in lieu of what would have been the father-daughter dance. but i also like your idea about mentioning that a certain song playing is in memory of {xyz}. my entrance is to a kenny g. song {old school, i know...but my dad loved his instrumental jazz }.

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  8. Nice post and great ideas to incorporate loved ones.
    I am not sure yet what I am doing, but I know for sure that I don't want to do something that will bring (and keep) the memories through out the whole night, such as, the memory table.
    I've been to weddings where they had the reserved chairs with flowers. It was very emotional and beautiful.

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  9. These are great ideas. I love the memory table idea. I have seen this with some great old wedding photos of grandparents, etc. Did you see the recent post on Style me Pretty? They had a photo of the bride's uncle doing his favorite thing - smoking a cigar - and also had a bowl of cigars to share. What a great way to incorporate his personality as well as his memory.

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  10. We had a moment of silence for those who could not be with us. It was too painful for us to have photos of recently departed loved ones.
    We also did special things to honor those who could not be with us on our own (not featured at our wedding) but helped us remember the person on our special day.

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  11. I think my favorite ideas would be a memorable candle, the bouquet charm, and the pictures. You could even do all three without going overboard. In my opinion, the empty chairs would be too painful. However, it is your special day. You do what feels important and special to you.

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  12. I am doing a Memory table with each person's picture and a candle. It will be next to the Guest book table. Those who are gone will serve as "Guests of Honor". I like the idea of having a picture so that everyone can remember their face. However, anything that you plan to do will be wonderful.

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  13. I was originally going to have the roses placed on a chair, but I've decided to do candles placed in a great birdcage I found.

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  14. So funny we posted about something so similar a day apart ;)

    I definitely think I'm going to do something like the memory table...maybe sharing the space of the guestbook or something. Thanks for commenting on my post.

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  15. This was such a nice post :) At our wedding I created a family tree and I also mentioned my dad who passed away in our programs :)

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  16. Personally I did a charm bracelet with pictures of my loved ones that are gone on it (http://www.flickr.com/photos/coreyann/1368221457/) and we had a little blurb said during our service. My father died the year before the wedding and my father in law died the month before so it was still fresh that something needed to be said. We also had pics of them both on the guestbook table.

    It was nice but not over the top IMHO.

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  17. to have my mom with me on my wedding day i have decided to have an all white bouquet, with one yellow rose in the center. it was her wedding flower, and favorite ever. my dad will also be the only one wearing a yellow rose boutenniere so he can have her over his heart.

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