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August 06, 2009

Brideline's Post: Cost of being your friend!

I just had to share this awesome post by the ladies at Bridelines Blog! If you haven't been there, the site is awesome and helps wedding planning not just for brides but for bridal party and guests. It also helps to keep brides in check when sometimes the thought of "My big Day" may cross boundaries into "My Bridezilla Day" - which is something we (as brides) want to avoid.

I think after reading this, you realize that as a bride, there are certain things you can do (or not do) to help your bridal party out.

The Cost of Being Your Best Friend

Whoever said that watching your best friend marry the man of her dreams is “priceless” was definitely not a bridesmaid.

A bridesmaid’s role is to be the emotional rock for the bride and along with that, bridesmaids are expected to attend every wedding event, irrespective of cost.

Brides...we know your big day has been planned since age 6 when the only important bank was your piggy bank, but times have changed and your friends are not recession proof. In case you haven’t thought about bridesmaid's costs (of course you haven’t, you are too busy worrying about squeezing that money out of your father’s wallet for the dress/flowers/tablecloths of your dreams), we are here to share the financial burdens your best friends will endure.

Engagement Gift: $50
Brideliners say: In a recession, if you don’t have party, don’t expect tons of gifts. As your best friends, we will get you a thoughtful gift. Wine tasting? Scuba lessons? Dance lessons?

Dress: $300
Brideliners say: Please choose a color and cut we can wear again. No, not the color that has been your favorite since you were playing with Barbies. That color is for your flowers. The color of the bridesmaid dress is a color we can wear again…of course unless you pay!

Alterations: $80
Brideliners say: Choose a dress that comes in “typical store” sizes. Less alterations the better.

Shoes: $70
Brideliners say: Pick a solid color and a simple style/fabric we might already have in our closet. If the dress is long and you won’t see the shoe…who cares, let us wear flip flops!

Strapless bra/Spanx or Other Contraptions: $40
Brideliners say: Making us buy a contraption created to hide side fat, fix lopsided boobs or show cleavage is an added cost that we may never wear again. It might make us feel self-conscious or maybe we our proud of our not-so-perfect curves! Find a dress where these aren’t necessary!

Bridal Shower Gift: $50
Brideliners say: This is part of the wedding rules – we know, we know.

Destination Bachelorette Party:
Flight to Mexico, Miami, etc: $300
Dinner 2 nights: $160
Drinks at a club 2 nights: $100
Decorations and Bridal Games: $20
Brideliners say: We love you and we love dancing on bars, but ouch…our poor bank accounts!

Home Town Bach Party: $150
Brideliners say: Reasonable for a dinner and a fun night out with the girls.

Hair: $80
Brideliners say: Brides, make sure your bridesmaids don’t feel pressured to get their hair done. We all want to have pretty curls when we are walking down the aisle, but sometimes we just can't afford it.

Make-up/Eye Lashes: $70
Brideliners say: Same as above. We don’t want to be the only bridesmaid without the eye-lashes or pretty lip gloss. An idea is to treat us by paying for makeup (or a wedding day hair style) for our bridesmaid gift! We will greatly appreciate it.

Spray Tanning: $40
Brideliners say: Some of us are pale. Get over it!

Wedding Gift: $250
Brideliners say: Without a plus 1, maybe $100, but since you’re our best friend, we upped the amount. Also, because when its our turn, you will give us the same back!

**These costs don’t include travel money for out-of-town weddings, costs for contributing to bridal showers as well as other extras.**

Now, there are no strict obligations to pay all these costs, but as your bridesmaids, it is expected that we participate in all events. Many bridezillas get angry at their bridesmaids for not attending every single thing and the last thing we want to do is get on your bad side during this process. Ultimately of course, it is not about the cost, but sharing these special times with your best friend.

However brides…just stop and think about it next time you are debating asking your bridesmaids to buy special shoes/jewelry or get a spray tan, it costs over $1,000 to be your best friend.


  1. I read this before and I was laughing... but as a bridesmaid now and previously, it's all so true! :)

  2. LOL wow ive never read that before.. that is ridic! and so true!

  3. You know, I think this is a good article and makes a valid point. But, I don't know anyone who has made their bridesmaid's spend that much money. I think bride's that require all that is definitely in the minority. Not all of us bride's are crazy or money-grubbing. If you are close enough friends with someone to make them a bridesmaid, then you are close enough to them to know what they can and can't do.

    I read stuff like this and I just think, great, another article or tv show or commercial making us all look like psychos. Y'know?

  4. @Mollie D: Totally agree. I can't imagine a day when I'd actually MAKE my friends get spray tans!

  5. Ok, the spray tanning is in the minority, but Bridelines has been told it exists. The other stuff is pretty common, atleast here in NYC. The article is meant to be both comical and truthful...

  6. Wow..... thank goodness I was already thinking cheaper!!

  7. We went with Jcrew... 100.00 dress! wear you own shows..and i will provide jewerly! My Mother also helped pay for the bridal shower... I also told my ladies No gifts for me!

  8. Ouch...kinda glad all of my best friends are guys....they don't care about tan lines and hems. (Not that I wear dresses anyways...) :)

    Plus, I will most likelly be working the wedding...not being in it.

    Totally win/win.

  9. Ouch...kinda glad all of my best friends are guys....they don't care about tan lines and hems. (Not that I wear dresses anyways...) :)

    Plus, I will most likelly be working the wedding...not being in it.

    Totally win/win.

  10. Yikes, this is all a bit much! Not sure I think this is the complete norm - not what I've encountered anyway. Spray tans and $300 dresses + more? Wow. Just never heard of anyone demanding so much! But I'm sure it's happened!

  11. Wow, even if this isn't the norm for most people, it's still pretty close once you start adding up costs. It's both interesting and horrifying to see all the various expenses laid out like that-really makes you rethink agreeing to be in a friend's wedding!

  12. There is a lot of truth here. Even if you don't demand everything on the list, what about travel expenses? A lot of bridesmaids have to fly.

    I've never really understood the necessity of bridesmaids and groomsmen. It's an extra expense for them and for the bridal couple, not to mention a multiplication of planning headaches.


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