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October 14, 2009

Last Name Change

I just wanted to take a quick poll out there - who is all changing their name? Or any variation of? Or just legally but not for work?

I'm still contemplating what to do ...
i've been told hyphenating would be too funny :( 
I've been told "don't do that to your kids"
I've been told i should change it and i don't mind changing it

... but i'd like to hold on to my last name too

Contemplating just moving things up so that my first name is officially "Amy Jean" and not just "Amy", my middle name is my last name instead of "Jean" and i take his last name

What did y'all do?

18 comments:

  1. This is what I'm thinking. If I hyphenate, I'll still mostly get called by his last name, I don't particularly want to change my name, so I'll keep mine even after the wedding :)

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  2. hey you know what i did. but i find that it would be easier sometimes if i didnt have 2 names/identities but i think that's only because of the unique small town that we live in. if we ever get to leave this place - i'll switch to his. i agree though that it is confusing for the kids. for a while we had 3 names in our house since the oldest has his bio dad's last name. he hated it as a kid - and says he still does, especially now that his mom is remarried again and has a different name from him and the younger one. i could go on and on about this topic but i won't bore you - i'd say move it up to your middle name so you have it but don't hyphenate it. you can always drop the married name if the situation calls for it because it is truthfully your name. but in the long run - once there are kids and you have settled into the family life, i think - knowing you - that you will be a lot like me and enjoy the unity that comes from something so simple as having one family name. i'm sure others will disagree. :-)

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  3. I can totally understanding wanted to change it, but i'm keeping mine. just feels right. if people call me by his last name it's no big deal, but i'd like to keep mine professionally.

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  4. When my mom got married she changed her middle name to her maiden name and took my dad's last name... it worked for her... it doesn't work for me. It just sounds funny. I don't have a HUGE attachment to my last name, and my name sounds good first middle and his last name... so I think I'm just going to drop my maiden name all together.

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  5. I'm not changing mine and here's why: I'm an Encore Bride, I've been through changing my name just to have to change it back after my divorce, the worst part is that I never wanted to change it in the first place. Also, I grew up in PR where women don't change their last names, the kids get two last names, for example Brian Smith marries Beth Roberts, the kids will be John Smith Roberts, when little John gets married he only passes on the Smith to his kids followed by whatever the brides paternal last name is. Funny how the Soc Sec and birth certificates offices in PR never have an issue with the last name thing (being that they conform to US laws). Anyway, I said all of that to say that everyone does it differently, choose a solution that works for you and your new husband, forget about what others say and trust me there are many more things to worry about raising a child than having a different last name. In my opinion if more women researched the reasons why women in the US took their husbands name many more wouldn't choose to do so.

    Sorry about the long post but this is a subject I'm kinda passionate about.

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  6. I completely dropped my maiden name (actually, I'm still in the process of getting it changed). I thought of keeping my maiden, but not hyphenating. But then I realized that I wouldn't ever use it, so why keep it? Then I contemplated dropping my middle and using my maiden as my middle. But honestly, I have more attachment to my middle name (which is after my grandmother) than my maiden. And I just couldn't imagine not having her as part of my name. So for the sake of simplicity I decided to drop my maiden name and take my husband's last name.

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  7. I don't think hyphenation is that "cruel" to children. I dated "Kevin Hughes-Jones", whose mother is Mrs Jones and whose father is Mr Hughes. He doesn't mind. In fact, he's proud of it.

    Traditionally, the Spanish and Portugese (and by extension, all of South America), hyphenated. Since everyone is hyphenated, there's actually a process for when two hyphenated people get married. I forget how it works, Jose Rodriguez de Gonzales and Maria Consuelo de Alba do not become Jose and Maria Rodriguez-Gonzalez-Consuelo-Alba. They each drop one name and keep one of the others. And none of the genertations of children from this tradition find it cruel.

    As for us? I hyphenated my name. Wade did not.

    We are undecided what we'll do for any future children. Probably just go with my husband's last name, but I don't know. I am, we're not even trying yet!

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  8. I'm in the same boat with you. I go by both my first and middle name. So instead of dropping my middle or maiden name I'm going to move it up. First and middle will now just be first, then maiden, and finally his new name. But the question is can we legally have a double first name with no hyphen?

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  9. I have no attachment to my middle name really, so I'm just going to drop it and use my maiden name as my middle name and take my husbands last name.

    That's what my mom did too, and since i never particularly cared for my middle name thats just what seems to work well for me.

    Just as a side note: I've also noticed that a lot of people recently are naming their baby after their maiden name. I really like that a lot! Its a great way to keep your maiden name still as a part of your family!! My friend just named her son "Robinson," which was her maiden name... just something to keep in mind!

    Overall, I think it just depends on each individual couple and what sounds the best, what means the most to you, and your professional situation. But it sounds like to me, just making your first name "Amy Jean" instead of just "Amy" is actually the perfect solution! You get to keep your maiden name and not have to let go of your middle name! Perfect!

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  10. This blog has a few topics on this that are fun to read:

    http://shanandmike.wordpress.com/

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  11. I like what you're thinking about! But I'll be taking his last name and dropping mine - unless I get my Ph.D. Then i'll be hyphenating for my degree!

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  12. I am not 100% sure yet but I am leaning towards having my last name added to my middle name so it is still part of my name.

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  13. I'm dropping my maiden name entirely. I would take it as my middle, but the two together sound like something you'd order at Oktoberfest.

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  14. I'm changing my first name (very small simple change) - moving my last to my middle and taking his name as my last. Totally new name!

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  15. my mom did: first, middle, maiden, married. whenever she signs anything it's first name, last name. i'm fairly certain that i'm going to do the same thing. my biggest issue is that i'm losing my kick-butt initials (RIB) to now become RIBF. but whatever, i'll be so happy to have a last name that won't get messed up as much as the one i've had for 33 years! :)

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  16. I'm taking his and dropping mine completely! The name dropping is probably the only thing traditional about my wedding!

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  17. i had a hard time with this one too. especially since my father passed away and i dont have any brothers to carry on our last name. but i went with tradition and took my husband's last name. and in the future, if we have a boy, i will somehow incorporate my maiden name in his name :)

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  18. Hyphenate it! hehe. In all seriousness, I love the idea of putting your first and middle together. It rolls off the tongue so easily.

    Actual incident-
    me: I'm visiting my friend in DC next week.
    friend: who?
    me: Amy
    friend: Amy Jean?
    :)

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