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February 02, 2010

The Wedding Dance {He Said: Introduction}

My father has always been there for me.  So when he offered some assistance to me and my fiancee in offering to assist with the bill for our wedding, it did not come as much of a surprise.  Then he threw me under the bus.  Well, I think that may be putting it too lightly.  He threw me under the bus and kicked me in the proverbial groin. 

He had a condition to the offer.  "As long as you take dance lessons."  The look on my face was probably a combination of 1. anger (that he had not mentioned this to me in private first), 2. fear (of Amy, if I did say no), and 3. nausea (at the thought of dancing in any way other than what you'd see at an 8th grade dance).  Needless to say, #2 overrode the other options, and here I am today writing this post the night before our first lesson.

He had not run this condition past my mother, which was obvious by the look of shock on her face when the words left his mouth.  The jury is still out on whether he ran this by Amy, no matter what she says, or whether this was all her idea to begin with.  All that is irrelevant now, as agreements were made, checks were cashed, and being a lawyer, I know I now have to keep up my side of the deal.

So tomorrow [which is tonight for all y'all readers] it all begins.  I am not looking forward to it.  Put me on a baseball field, a football field, or a basketball court and I have all the coordination in the world.  Put me on a dance floor and it's not that i have two left feet.  I'd more say i have no feet at all, just two legs cemented into the ground, with the occasional bend at the knee.

I figure there are three things that can come out of this first lesson.

1.  The instructor realizes I am completely hopeless and asks us not to waste anymore of her time
2.  Amy realizes I am completely hopeless and decides that we shouldn't waste anymore of the instructor's time
3.  The instructor miraculously is able to teach me to keep some sort of rhythm

I think it will be 1 or 2.  I hope the instructor realizes what she's getting into.  Wish me luck.

3 comments:

  1. You're going to be great! I'm betting on #3! Can I request some video after the big day?? ;~)

    ReplyDelete
  2. omg, larry, you are so freaking funny!

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