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February 05, 2010

The Wedding Dance {She Said: Lesson 1}

Sadly, I have to admit... the dance lesson was much harder than I anticipated. I have no training in dance. But i love to go "dancing". Whether this hurts me or not, i still found myself constantly missing beats and not being able to do the basic fundamentals.

But even though it was very challenging... and even though i was sad that i sucked at it... i'm still looking forward to the next lesson... I want to improve individually and as a team. This being said... well, I'm sure you read FH's Lesson 1 post... Yes, I am Type A. Yes, I am a control Freak. Yes, I am having a very hard time allowing myself to be lead... Yikes, this is not only physically challenging but i think its more mentally challenging for me!

The lesson started off fun. Deborah, our instructor from The Wedding Dance Specialists, asked "What foot do you lead with?" and I said "My right!" and she said "And do you know why?" and i responded, "Because I am ALWAYS RIGHT!" and she said "YES!!!" and of course we had a good laugh at that.  We did basic positioning of how we should hold each other. We stayed in position as she adjusted our frames and holds, and explained why certain form helped us.  Holding position was hard - i won't lie, my arms started to get that dull ache LOL (i'm that out of shape!)

We brought our first dance song in, and I was a bit tentative when she asked what it was. I love the song "Whatever it is" by Zac Brown Band and the words were just kind of perfect. The beat is great but i just couldn't see FH and I pulling off a "first dance" that was slow to the song. Within chords of the music being played, Deborah was off... just swaying to the music and doing steps that totally worked! I started to get excited.

So we had two dance options... both of which i thought would be fun, natural and to be honest - kind of sexy... in a non-lewd kind of way... and i kept envisioning myself in my dress dancing with FH to "OUR" song... and I couldn't stop smiling.

But now here's the hard part. I couldn't do the basic fundamentals. I mean the circling was really hard. But i felt awkward doing the basics. I don't know why, maybe i felt self-conscious? Maybe I was afraid of doing it wrong? Whatever it was, i felt a little off. And then when we put the two of us together, I just could NOT follow... i could not "let go" ... it was sooooo hard!

All in all, Deborah says we did well. She said we didn't have any breakdowns in communications and that neither one of us lost "it". I think its because whatever "it" is, we didn't have "it" in the first place LOL... but seriously, she gave us a decent grade on our first lesson but i felt like it was all FH. I mean, with a smile and an open mind - he did EVERYTHING she asked. He didn't shy away from a single move and just kept trying. I was super impressed with how willing he was to make this work. And the fact that Deborah told him that this is something he can do - he truly believes her. I do too!... But now i feel like, I'm the obstacle.

So my BIGGEST lesson to learn is to let go ... and I have a feeling if i do let go on the dance floor - this is a couple's hobby that FH may be willing to further explore even post-wedding. So i've got a lot riding on this... b/c i really think that not just on the dance floor but in certain general life issues - i need to let go and not be so controlling, i've just always had a hard time with that...

So wish me luck as we get ready for our next dance lesson... I pray that I can be mentally more open like FH is! WHO KNEW he'd be teaching me something about dancing!!!

Stay tuned for our next posts and read the rest of the He Said, She Said Series!


  1. I love this series because it brings back so many memories of the dance lessons my husband and I took. We started ballroom lessons 10 years ago and we are still dancing. We were doing ballroom before we even got married and I swear to this day that these lessons have taught me a lot about being in a relationship.

    Like you, I am a control freak, which is made worse by the fact that I've been dancing since I was 4. So when we first started lessons, I always wanted to lead and became very frustrated that John couldn't pick up the steps fast enough. But I soon realized that if I wanted him to dance with me until we're 90 years old, I'm going to have to grow some patience, bite my tongue and keep encouraging him. You learn to give and take. You learn how to work together to solve a problem (a difficult step). And most importantly, you learn to just be in the moment, focus on each other and enjoy some rockin' music.

    We each have our own good days and bad days in class but through it all, we remain pretty goofy so that we keep it fun for ourselves and not take it so seriously.

    After a while, John gained more confidence about his ability to lead and to master his own steps that he was more proud of himself and wanted to show off to his friends!

    To this day, Thursday night is our standing date night when we have our ballroom class and I don't think we'll ever stop.

  2. I love this series, too! Don't stress too much about the implications of letting go, now, and the future. Paralysis by analysis! Can you post the lyrics to your song?

  3. Ohhh, letting go of the control... that is rough. But learning how to rely on FH now will definitely help in the future ;~)

  4. I can't wait to see you do the first dance!


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