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January 19, 2011

Pregnant for a Day

ok... well maybe more than, but to me - since I've only known about it for a day as a possible real options, I feel like i was ONLY Pregnant for a day.... and I'm sure you are wondering what i'm talking about.

After Thursday's meeting last week with my specialist about my Fibroid and Cyst, I received a call on Monday morning to the effect of "your blood test is positive. Seeing that you are pregnant, we may not be able to proceed with your surgery. We need you to go your ObGyn's office to get a beta test so we can confirm b/c your HCG levels are a low but definitely showing that you are Pregnant." I just dropped everything. Whaaaa??

I'm sure you can imagine, me running around like crazy. I didn't know what to do first. Do i call my Husband? Do i tweet it? What to do... So first thing I did, I squatted... i grabbed an EPT and I tested. Since I already knew she said my HCG levels were low, I didn't know if my EPT would show a positive...

But this is what I got:
See how the second line is VERY faint, almost unphotographable but it detected something
So, it was faint but considering my HCG levels were at 22 on thursday, It shouldn't have been THAT faint... so a test was in order.

So I got in the car, stopped off at the Husband's work - showed him the EPT. Explained the situation. His response "Super sperm!!!".

Of course we were thrilled, scared and excited. We weren't "trying" yet, and only went off the pill in December (figured Id have to adjust for a few months first), and hadn't even had a full cycle and he hit the bull's eye... The egg has been fertilized. That was a big deal b/c I didn't know if i had any eggs, were they dropping, am i fertile? etc... normal things us older woman think about, right?

At 4:45 AM tuesday morning, my alarm goes off to take my BBT. I woke up and it had dropped from 97.61 to 97.27. When I saw that, my heart sank. It had steadily been increasing and I knew this could mean one thing, the fertilized egg wasn't implanting itself. It makes sense of course. I have a fibroid. A submucosal fibroid does this... prevents conception. I had a hard time falling back asleep.

Everything was confirmed when I got the Beta test results later that morning and my HCG level had dropped to 19. In essence: The Egg was "FRY"ed but the plate to serve it on is broken. Good news, the stove was ready to go and is working... What we had was a case of a "chemical pregnancy", in short a miscarriage of sorts. Basically your body reads like its gonna be pregnant, high HCG levels, but for whatever reason... the pregnancy disappears.

Don't worry y'all, before you feel too bad - we are both being very positive about this and here is how I'll break it down.
Good News
  • I have Eggs!!! (unless of course that was the last one dropped but i'm staying optimistic)
  • The Husband's sperm is... well "super sperm"
  • Aforementioned Egg and sperm seem to connect.
  • I can drink for a few more months (I wasn't ready for a jackpot on first try, so i was kinda sad that I hadn't had my farewell toasts to alcohol - dumb, but honest). 
  • I can drink on my FL trip. 
  • I can drink on our anniversary trip. 
  • I can remove the cyst without being pregnant. Typically they wait til 2nd trimester to remove the cyst if its this big, so now I won't have that to worry about that scenario
  • Since Fibroid can cause complications with pregnancy, not being pregnant can actually be a blessing
  • Can still do Weight watchers and get to a healthier weight pre-pregnancy
  • Gives us more time to become more financially ready and get our tiny condo ready for a new guest should it happen
Bad News
  • I am not pregnant!
  • We got excited at the idea and now that it's not happening, we are a little sad - but its making us even more excited and less fearful of the prospect. 
  • Now we need for a flow and a negative pregnancy before we can proceed with any procedures.
  • We may have to do procedures separately instead of together. 
  • Can't eat to my hearts content LOL
















    But the worst news is that the baby would have been due mid-September to End of September which would have made him/her just in time for ... Halloween and their costumes.


    So ... I was pregnant for a day. Chemically I could still be pregnant, since Monday was a 19 HCG level and that's more than "below 5" HCG levels, but in my mind b/c I know its not going to implant, my pregnancy started yesterday with that phone call and ended today with the knowledge of the beta results. But i'm not gonna be sad, but rather focus on how this IS for the best ... and that is something I don't have a doubt about.

    Encouraging words are always appreciated. ^.^

    18 comments:

    1. Oh no. I am so sorry. I can't imagine being so excited like that and then being let down. I love your idea of being positive though. The fact that you can GET pregnant is a really huge deal! So awesome! Once this cyst is gone, I bet you are going to get pregnant very quickly and it will stick.

      It WILL happen for you. It will.

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    2. I love your post!
      At least the trying part is fun!!

      Good Luck :)

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    3. Long time lurker! I just got married in May and we've started to have the very serious "when are we really going to try" talk. I really appreciate you sharing your journey. Good luck! It's most excellent news that you can actually me it work! That's half the battle. :)

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    4. *that was supposed to say "you can actually make it work"

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    5. All I can say is wow! We can def talk more tonight at happy hour.

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    6. I think its great that you shared this with us. I think everything happens for a reason and hopefully after your surgery it will make it that much easier for you to get pregnant and keep it!

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    7. I'm sorry you found out you weren't pregnant but you have a very positive outlook on it which is great. Everything always happens the way it should in Gods timing!

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    8. Hi darlin, so good to hear from you lately! Sending you much love... you know I've been where you are and it sucks, but you're right that there are positive things you can take away.

      What a great mom you will be.

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    9. Sorry to hear that it didn't work out this month, but there's a lot of good news in there. You guys will be able to have a few more months of fun and then be ready to try again. I really believe that everything happens for a reason and it'll happen when the timing is right!

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    10. Oh Amy I am so sorry to hear that! I'm glad that you are feeling positive about everything now though, and I wish you the best of luck trying!

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    11. Bless your heart. I know about the mixed emotions. Been there, done that. Keeping you guys in my prayers!

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    12. Thank you for sharing it! Funny how, if you hadn't had the pre-op test, you never would have known about it. It IS a blessing to know though, because you know things are in working order! Good luck AFTER the surgery with a quick conception!

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    13. I am so grateful you posted on my blog. Even though I don't talk about my medical situation in reading yours I see we have alot in common and some how it comforts me to know someone else is going through something and though I feel alone I am not. I know the feeling of excitement only for your hopes to be dash but have no fear you are taking all the right steps and in the end the result will be beautiful! I'm addicted to your blog....officially!

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    14. I'm so sorry. But you guys have such a great outlook on dealing with this though. The pros definitely outweigh the cons, and at least now you know you can get pregnant!

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    15. It will happen in due time! Have faith girly!

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    16. Love your good-news/bad-news list. What a great way to stay positive! I wish you so much luck!!!

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    17. I admire how you look at the situation on the brighter side. I totally agree. There's more good news than bad for this one. Good luck!

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