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April 20, 2011

"Parent's Say NO!!!"

I recently read the article by LZ Granderson, Parent's don't dress your girls like tramps off CNN.com and had to share!

If you haven't read it, i suggest you click on the link above and read it, but i can give you a short summary of the article. (all things italicized are sourced from Granderson's article)

Granderson starts off describing a very sexy and pretty looking young thing at the airport... wearing a halter top and low waisted sweatpants... and then states "Yeah, that 8-year-old girl was something to see alright. ... I hope her parents are proud. Their daughter was the sexiest girl in the terminal, and she's not even in middle school yet."

His article goes on to talk about the sexualization of young girls and how consumer goods are catering to 7 year olds in push up bras (disgusting!) and the like... but then he shifts the blame and goes on to say, you can't really blame retailers b/c if there wasn't a need for it, they wouldn't create it. Which is so very true.

"It's easy to blast companies for introducing the sexy wear, but our ire really should be directed at the parents who think low rise jeans for a second grader is cute."

He then discusses his own son and how he refuses to let his son walk out of the house with pants sagging under his a**. He acknowledges that this refusal to let your child do as they please can cause tension, but "but I'm his father, not his friend. Friends bow to peer pressure. Parents say, "No, and that's the end of it."" (that statement needed a bold and underline!)

I appreciate how Granderson goes on to say "The way I see it, my son can go to therapy later if my strict rules have scarred him. But I have peace knowing he'll be able to afford therapy as an adult because I didn't allow him to wear or do whatever he wanted as a kid. Maybe I'm a Tiger Dad."

BRAVO BRAVO! He says exactly what I feel. Sure I don't have kids to back this up, but i've got lots of nephews and nieces-and I treat them as I would my own. Luckily our siblings and their significant others, give us that leeway to say "no" when we need to and discipline them if we ever needed (and we actually don't have to). But i'd be the first to tell them "no, you are NOT wearing that!" even if it means being the not so nice Aunt for the day.

We often like to shift blame as to who is at fault for the things that go wrong with our children, but at the end of the day - it is the parents responsibility to raise your children the way you think is right. Like Granderson says "A line needs to be drawn, but not by Abercrombie. Not by Britney Spears. And not by these little girls who don't know better and desperately need their parents to be parents and not 40-year-old BFFs."

Take responsibility is key. Be a parent first, a friend second... one day, your child will thank you for it! and if they need therapy from the "tiger parenting", like Granderson says, at least you know they will be able to afford the therapy as an adult from the "tiger parenting".

This just hit home, even without my own children, so much so that I had to share...

6 comments:

  1. You are preachin' to the choir sista!!

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  2. Amen to that. Everyday on my way home I drive by three different schools (yes we live in schoolville) and I am always appalled at the way some of the children are dressed. Even at the private school the girls still seem to find a way to "sexy up" the uniform. Its disturbing that the parents aren't saying something to them or even a teacher!

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  3. I read this article yesterday, too and had to share it because I've been seeing this for years. It's not a recent problem. There's this whole generation of parents that want to be their kid's best friend instead of a parent. Maybe their parents were too strict or something. It doesn't help that girls are developing faster these days. When I was a lifeguard at the YMCA there was a 12 year old that had the body of a 16 year old and her parents thought it was totally OK that she came to camp in a bikini. It became such a problem that the director had to speak to her parents. The male lifeguards were uncomfortable looking at her!

    I could go on and on about this so I'll end my rant here lol.

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  4. goosebumps!

    I have to tell you, when I lived in Arizona and would go shopping in the nice malls in Scottsdale I would see this EVERYWHERE. The little tweens would be dressed like college girls, with highlighted hair carrying around their Louis and Coach handbags...their mothers WOULD BE DRESSED JUST LIKE THEM. It was always bizarre. Like everyone wanted to be in a perpetual state of "18 years old" - weird.

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  5. Sadly - this process starts at a VERY VERY YOUNG age. Normally - it's not a huge problem since we live in Alaska where maximum coverage is necessary. But as we are planning to go to Hawaii soon - I am finding that even clothes for my 4 year old are sometimes disturbing. And, yes at 4 she wants to wear make up and dress like the teenagers. My Hawaiian family has no problem with nudity and I admit they probably view it much less sexually than my Southern Bible roots do but I am the parent and it's my responsibility to raise my kids with morals and a sense of worth. While I like ensuring that my kids are dressed well - I find it repulsive to emphasize looks too much, especially with my daughter. If I tell her (through liberal clothing choices) that this (dressing in a certain manner) is the most important projection of herself, how will she portray herself when the time comes that she will face the hormones and self conscience stage of life? She needs to learn (yes at 4) that while dressing nicely is important, it is not the clothes and image that define who she is or make her important. So setting limits from the start is soooo important. I want her to grow into a confident lady someday - not someone who depends upon what is more likely than not a beautiful body as her crutch in life....

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